#NerdAlert

I am a self-proclaimed nerd. I love to read and write, and I'd rather do that than watch TV. Using new vocabulary words exhilarates me (Geez, the sky looks ominous today!), and silently correcting the grammar of others is a daily occurrence. (Your is possessive; if you mean YOU ARE, then write you're!) I have always wanted to be in a real book club, and about two years ago that dream came true! I get so excited for our monthly meetings, so we can discuss the characters, setting, plot, and themes of our latest read. I've even started typing up questions to bring to book club to deepen our conversations. #SoNerdy

Being nerdy in one of my favorite Harry Potter t-shirts!

A few years ago a couple of my 5th grade students introduced me to the world of Harry Potter. I had refused to read the series for years, thinking that there's no way an adult could enjoy the world of witches and wizards. Then, these boys convinced me that as their reading teacher, I had to read it! OMG. Life changer. And a major increase for me on the nerd scale! As I finished each book, I watched the corresponding movie. I joined the Harry Potter Running Club and took the quiz to find my Hogwarts house. I'm a Hufflepuff, by the way!

Of course, there are so many parts of being a teacher fulfills the nerd in me. But there's nothing that gets me giddy like school supplies. There's nothing better than freshly sharpened pencils, Ink Joy gel pens, and sticky notes of multiple shapes and sizes, lined and unlined, of course.

I began writing regularly this summer and joined a writing camp on Facebook that's hosted by Jennifer Serravallo, a literacy guru. Immersing myself in this kind of work is one of my favorite things to do. I love to get an assignment and then work hard to complete it. It makes me feel like a student again.

Lucy and me - Sperry HS Class of 2000

My nerdiness hasn't always been prominent. I just said prominent... maybe my nerdiness is totally out there! LOL! But in reflecting, I've realized that I've hidden it at times. In college, I wanted to be cool. I was so excited and ready for a new me at Northeastern State University. I didn't share with people that I graduated as the valedictorian of my high school... that was too nerdy. I had my fair share of fun, and for the first time in my life, I didn't make straight As. I even changed my major from Education to Mass Communications because it was a way cooler major. After graduation, I landed a job at a television station in Tulsa and loved editing video for the 5 pm, 6 pm, and 10pm newscasts. While that was a thrilling change for me, I eventually earned my alternative teaching certificate and went back to school to earn my master's in educational leadership, making straight As this time!

I'm grateful to be in a position where I can share my nerdiness with others every day through my work with teachers and students. And I truly love it when I see a little bit of my nerdiness rub off on someone else. Izzy loves to go to the library and check out books with me each week. Greg saw our stack of 14 books, and said, "Whoa. Do people really check out that many books from the library?" I replied with, "Are you serious?! This is the fewest amount of books I've ever checked out from the library!"

Even Greg has started choosing books more often. And even though he sometimes talks to me in a "nerd voice" (think Screech's nerd friends on "Saved By The Bell"), I know that he still enjoys reading. Just this past weekend, Greg recommended a great nonfiction book called Into the Wild. Now, he has to branch out and read a historical fiction book that I've suggested... maybe we can start our own little book club.

Destined to be a nerd - what six-year-old reads the newspaper?!

So why am I calling myself out as a nerd? Well, I've come to realize that it's cool to be a little nerdy. To spend time reading, writing, and learning is something that I enjoy doing, and I feel like it makes me a smarter, better person. It's something that I plan to do on the regular until my last day on this earth. At the age of 36, I've decided that I will be true to who I am. It really doesn't matter what others think. Being nerdy is something that comes natural to me, and I feel like I'm good at it. Isn't it crazy that I'm just now starting to feel comfortable with who I really am? No more feeling the need to be cool; this nerd is pushing her glasses up on her nose, grabbing pack of brand new Ink Joy pens, and writing a plan to lead my own adventure down a path less traveled... maybe it will be like one of those really cool Choose Your Own Adventure books from my childhood... yeah whatever!

Get Out There & Water the Grass!

Recently, we had to replace a ton of the grass in our backyard. After the new sod was down, our backyard looked like a patchwork quilt. You could distinctly see the difference between the new grass and the old. And it didn't help that the summer heat was beating down on the new, tender bermuda. Since I've been home for summer, my daily job has been to water the grass. First, I tried setting out a sprinkler. This worked for some parts of the yard, but I kept having to move it around so that all of the grass got watered. Next, I decided to try using the water hose. By using the hose, I was able to concentrate on areas that were having a hard time growing. Some areas of the yard get a TON of sun and need more water. I made it my goal to get this grass growing! For about a week, I went out in the afternoon, in addition to my morning watering session, to really give those struggling sections the TLC they needed.

As you can tell, I rather enjoyed watering the lawn! (I even started feeling sorry for the grass. No, seriously!) Early in the morning while Izzy was still in bed, I got up to water the grass. This quiet time was great for reflection; I really started thinking about exactly what I was doing. I was paying close attention to the areas that were struggling. I watered those spots thoroughly and made sure that grass continued to grow. This made me think about my work with students, setting personal goals, and, of course, Izzy.

As a teacher, I get to work with students and help them become stronger readers and writers. Sometimes that work is tough. I'm always trying new, different ideas. I've learned that each child and each class of students is different. And if a child isn't understanding the content, it's my job to try something else until he or she gets it. Doing this work isn't easy, and it requires me to get out of my comfort zone. I am lucky to work with fabulous teachers and other instructional coaches who inspire me to do this work.

Aramco Houston Half Marathon - January 2014
Mr. DeLauder inspired me to just keep running!

About four years ago, I signed up to run in my first half marathon. I knew that this was a lofty goal, but still I signed up for it. Once I paid the pricey fees, I knew I would run in the race and complete the run, just to get my money's worth! A few months later, we learned that Greg would be working in Louisiana for the next couple of years. While I was excited for this opportunity for him, I wondered how I would train for the race. Who would watch Izzy while I ran in the evenings? I didn't give up on my goal; I just had to think about the path to my goal differently. I joined the Katy YMCA and started running on the treadmill. This wasn't ideal. I HATED running on the treadmill. However, I set a goal, and I was going to reach it... just in a different way. When I didn't want to go run on the treadmill, I would remind myself of the fact that I am able to run. There are so many who can't. Who am I to complain about running on a treadmill?!

When I think about our journey with Izzy, I think of those who have poured into her, watered her grass. It truly takes a village. Often times, it's frustrating, and we don't see immediate progress. But, oh, there is progress! Each time a Facebook memory pops up in my notifications, and I hear Izzy's sweet little two-year-old voice, I can barely understand her words. Now, I have full-blown conversations with her! Are there still times when I can't understand her? Absolutely. Does this mean that the years of speech therapy aren't working? No way! It may take years to see all of the results from the many different interventions; I hold fast to this quote:

Don't try to rush progress. Remember, a step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Keep believing.                                   

-Kara Goucher

Izzy skating with friends - April 2018

Izzy has taught me so much about perseverance. She doesn't give up. Ever. When she sets her mind to something, she will achieve it. Back in the spring, she was invited to four or five birthday parties at the local skating rink. Izzy did not hesitate to skate! Did she fall? So. Many. Times. Did she get back up and try again? You bet. Poor baby had bruises up and down her legs, but she never gave up. We can all learn something from her growth mindset. Just because something is hard, doesn't mean it's not worth working for. It is so rewarding to overcome a challenge and look back on the journey it took to get to that point.

Sometimes we get to choose those challenges we face: training for a race, working toward a degree, volunteering to lead a group. Other challenges are out of our control. What we do when faced with those challenges is what defines us. Do you water that stubborn patch of grass twice a day, or do you just plop a sprinkler down, hoping that a simple solution will solve the problem? Take some advice from my lawn boy experience and from my daughter. Set a goal. Write it down. When it gets hard, don't give up. Do whatever it takes to achieve it. Find someone to hold you accountable.

If nothing else, I hope this post inspires you to go water that patch of dying grass in your backyard... and if you're in the Houston area on this rainy day you're thinking that I've lost my mind... yeah, whatever!

Book Recommendation

If you liked this post, go read Girl, Wash Your Face! by Rachel Hollis. This book inspired me in so many ways. Rachel has a straightforward way of talking to the reader that I absolutely love. After I read this book, I wrote three new goals, one of them to blog weekly. I'm thankful for Rachel's open dialogue and affirmations that in this messy world, things are going to be tough and that's okay. She shares practical ways to find your place and achieve greatness. Read this book!

Life is Like A Playlist

I love to run, but lately, I’ve struggled with motivation. Usually, changing something up, running a different path or listening to different music, helps. So, last week, I hopped on Amazon Music and started browsing. When I found the 2000s Hip Hop Cardio Blast station, I just knew this station would pump me up! As I was running, I time-traveled back to Tahlequah, Oklahoma to Northeastern State University. Granny’s Attic and The Cubby Hole, two late-night hot spots, were vivid in my mind. I could remember dancing “shaking it like a salt shaker” and “moving my body like a cyclone” with my ΔΖ sisters! Isn’t it amazing how music can transport us like this?

Ladies of Delta Zeta at Sleepy Hollow - 2004

Music is a big part of who we are as a family. When I get ready in the mornings, I listen

Greg & Izzy playing guitar - 2010

to music and so does Greg. I grew up taking piano lessons, and Greg plays the guitar. Izzy has a keyboard and a karaoke machine… and a drum set is on the way! We often say that our life is like a musical; we love to change the words to songs and sing to Izz. There is just something about music that makes this world a better place!

We’ve always said that Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are” is Izzy’s theme song. There are so many times that I’m drawn to the words, “When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change… ‘cause you’re amazing, just the way you are.” In a world that is constantly shoving expectations in your face, this song always helps me reflect on what is really important.

I’ve really been thinking a lot lately, though, about what my theme song would be… I’m still not sure, but I narrowed it down to the songs that would be on my life’s soundtrack.

Grandpa, me & those sunflowers!

"There’s A Tear in My Beer" by Hank Williams, Jr. - One time, I tried to request this song at church. Seriously. I confidently raised my hand in the air, leaned over to my mom and said, “I want to sing 'There’s a Tear in My Beer.'” I LOVED Hank Williams, Jr. as a child, and I have fond memories of listening to his music. However, I learned quickly at the age of five that there are some songs we will never sing at church! Listening to country music with my Grandpa reminds me of picking strawberries, digging potatoes, and posing next to the tallest sunflowers I’ve ever seen… all grown by my Grandpa. He is my hero.

"The Dance" by Garth Brooks - I will never forget when Garth Brooks first got his start. I had his cassette tape, Brooks. I was just getting familiar with his songs when we heard the news that my cousin, Jamie, had been accidentally shot while turkey hunting. It was devastating. I distinctly remember the funeral, sitting there as an eight-year-old when they played, "The Dance". But more than that, I remember Jamie. He had this way of captivating others. He had a contagious smile and the most positive attitude. Even though Jamie’s life was only a short fifteen years long, he lived it to the fullest. To this day, I try to live my life like Jamie’s. “Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.”

Lisa, Manda & me - 2004

"Semi-Charmed Kind of Life" by Third Eye Blind - I will never forget seeing Third Eye Blind play live at EdgeFest with Manda and Lisa. While I was definitely out of my comfort zone with some of the edgy personalities there, it was an awesome experience. Alternative music defines my teenage years, and now that I think about it, it’s perfect teenager music… a little angry, a little upbeat, very powerful lyrics. And, you know what? Every time I hear a song from the 90s, I can still sing along with EVERY SINGLE WORD. The words to those songs are forever a part of me. Oh, to go back to the 90s!

Friendship Baptist Church Youth Group - 1998

"Jesus Freak" by DC Talk - Lake Texoma Church Camp, water balloon fights, swimming with my t-shirt over my swimsuit, waiting in line at the payphone to call my mom, winning the 3-on-3 basketball tournament… that’s what this song reminds me of. I loved attending church camp each summer with my youth group, and we really grew closer to God during that one short week. As an adult, I think about all the hard work and effort that went into making sure 50+ kids made it safely through a week of church camp. As a kid, I never thought about it. Now I feel like I need to write a letter of thanks to my youth group leaders, camp counselors, and parents! 

Becky & Steve's Wedding - 2004

"Dixie Land Delight" by Alabama - In college, I was lucky to live with amazing roommates. One of my roommates married one of my best friends from high school! We have so many great memories together, and this song makes me think of Becky and Steve. I can’t count on my fingers and toes the number of times Steve played guitar and sang this song (and so many others) for us. It makes me think of dancing and happy times with two people who played a huge part in a very impressionable time in my life. Also, I’ll never forget when Steve played Forever by The Beach Boys Uncle Jesse from Full House at our wedding. What a sweet, sweet memory!

Brittany visited us in Baltimore in 2007

Every Song by George Strait - No really. Every song. How could I ever narrow it down? Every song by George Strait makes me smile and think of my best friend, Brittany. We knew we were soul mates when we learned of our common love for King George. We saw him in concert every time we had the chance, often driving four hours to OKC to get there! Just a couple of weeks ago, he was playing in Tulsa, and I received videos from Brit of George singing to us. I mean, he looked right at her, as if he were saying hello, and then started singing. I’m so grateful for the Strait-up, best friendship that was built on “The Chair”, “Amarillo by Morning”, and “Run”.

September 30, 2006

"Love Must Follow You Around" by Randy Rogers Band - This is our wedding song. Not only did Greg and I dance to this song, but this song also defines our love story. We met by chance and had a long-distance relationship for about a year before we were married. Then, Greg swept me off of my feet! We immediately moved to Baltimore after our wedding and then to Boston and Charlotte before settling in Houston. I’m glad that Greg’s love “tracked me down” and came “creepin’ in deeper than I have ever known”. Our journey together has been the greatest adventure.

My first half marathon - 2014

"Don’t Stop Believin’" by Journey - This is my power song. I’ve told myself that when it comes on, and I’m running, I can’t stop. I MUST run. Even if I’m dog-tired, I have to run. (Yes, I often talk to myself like this!) This song will always make me think of running, and how I achieved my goal of running a half marathon. 

So it’s very clear that I can’t think of just one song that defines me, my theme song. The songs I love are about others and my connection with those wonderful people. And, wow, the memories fill my soul. So, I know this: if my life’s soundtrack were a cassette tape, the whole B side would be full of Nelly, 50 Cent, and JayZ, and the A side would be full of songs that define special moments in my life. 

What songs are on your soundtrack? What are the lyrics that remind you of the special people and memories in your life? Let that magical, time-travelling quality of music instantaneously transport you back to those memories. Now if I could figure out a way to bottle and sell that magic, I could be a millionaire… yeah, whatever!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!

Cruisin' in Daddy's  Jeep

Spending time with Izzy is one of my favorite things to do. From our morning car rides to school jamming out to The Greatest Showman to our evenings spent sitting on the couch reading, those are some of the best parts of my day. Traveling with Izzy is another one of my favorite things. Greg and I love to show her new places.

Most days are really good, (you see lots of those good moments on my highlight reel!) and I cherish those good times. During the school year, I am so thankful to have wonderful teachers who will text, send a quick email, or pop into my room after school to share about Izzy. Often times, though, those conversations are about an obstacle.

I’ll never forget when Mrs. Beeman, Izzy’s kindergarten teacher, shared with me that Izzy said, “Sarah* is jackin’ around!” OMG! I was mortified... however, she used that language in perfect context, so I was a little proud, too. Sarah* really was jackin’ around! More often than not, though, Izzy's struggles are much more serious.
*Name changed to protect the sweet, innocent little girl who was jackin' around. LOL!

Izzy & Mrs. Marshall 💗

Izzy & Miss Robin 💗

It’s hard for Izzy to follow the social norms at school. Sitting quietly and working has never been her thing! However, with meds, a behavior chart, and in-class support, she is able to spend the majority of her day in the general education classroom. She also learns in a small group setting in the resource classroom. Have I mentioned that we are blessed with incredible teachers who understand and go the extra mile for Izz?!

 We learned very early on that Izzy's autism includes sensory processing disorder. She doesn't process the world around her like others do. This plays a part in how she views her body in space. For example, leaning backward in a dentist chair freaks her out. Also, Izzy’s body needs sensory input; her body needs to be stimulated in different ways, so she can better use her body. Swinging at recess is one way that she gets this input. Izzy also has a hyper sense of hearing. It is amazing how well she can hear the tiniest sounds. It's actually really cool, but it can pose quite a problem, too. There was a time when I woke up early on Sundays to go grocery shopping because I HAD to go alone. I needed to go alone for some peace and quiet, but I also couldn’t take Izzy with me. Every trip to the grocery store was a nightmare. The littlest thing would set her off, and I’d leave without getting a thing. Or I’d be the parent with the temper tantrum kid trying to keep her calm. To this day, it's hard for me to figure out exactly what bothers Izzy in this type of setting, but, now, I think that a lot of it was due to all the different sounds in the store. Think about it: her brain processes the sounds separately... she can hear the beep-beep of the cashier scanning each item, multiple conversations, and the rolling wheels of each shopping cart. Thank God for the Kroger ClickList! It is my lifesaver. Short trips to the store are possible now, but it requires a pep talk before we go inside.

Izzy thrives with structure, and if something is not going according to schedule, that really rocks her world. At school, she follows a schedule for the day, and at home we use the Choiceworks app. It is a visual schedule that I can edit for Izzy’s needs. For the summer, I created a morning schedule, a work schedule, and an afternoon schedule. The schedule has a visual and an audio component. This has allowed Izzy to see her tasks and be independent in completing them. Choiceworks also has an awesome calendar app. (They are not free apps but are well worth the price!)

Izzy - one year old - 2009

While I know that many of Izzy’s struggles are because of autism, to be honest, I don’t know the difference between a typical child's behavior and the behavior of a child with autism. I’ve never really known if what she’s doing is “normal”. Izzy is just now approaching the age group of students that I’m most familiar with, so I'm recognizing more of the differences. When Izz was little, I knew that it was odd for a baby to cry all night long... literally, all night long. Izzy was hard to soothe as a baby; a diaper change and a bottle helped very little. I know that most five year olds don’t bite their friends; Izzy did. Crying instead of speaking is unexpected; Izzy often communicates in this way. Clipping Izzy’s toenails is an event at our house. It's her sensory processing that gets in the way, and it takes an act of Congress to get it done!

Through all of this, I’ve learned that what looks like defiance or a temper tantrum is often Izzy trying to express herself. She doesn’t have the words to say, “I’m frustrated about...” or “That made me feel...” She often says "no" to adults. We know now that it’s not that she’s being defiant... it’s that she is trying to tell us “that’s hard for me,” or “I don’t like the way that makes me feel.” She just recently found the words to tell me that the sound of the brush running through her hair really bothers her, and that’s the reason why she fights me when I have to brush out the tangles.

RDR Final Run - May 2018

On the other hand, Izzy does so many things that are age-appropriate; she loves watching videos on YouTube, doing the floss, collecting squishies, and shopping at Justice. She's completed five Read, Deed, and Run marathons (reading 26 books, performing 26 good deeds, and running 26 miles over the course of a school year). She calms me down when I'm feeling stressed out, and she has the wittiest sense of humor. She tells little white lies, talks back to us, and sleeps late. Sometimes, I struggle to see these things; I am thankful for those who remind me of these things she’s doing that are “normal”. There was a time when I thought everything was because of autism!

Some days are just bad, but the biggest parts of most days are good. Greg and I have to remind each other every day to stay calm and be patient. We’ve learned that the calmer we are, the calmer Izzy is. While these are the battles we are facing, I realize that it could be worse. Each day I am reminded of what others are going through, and I thank God that our battle comes with a sweet little girl to love!

As for the ugly… I’d say ugliness rears its head when I overhear or see judgment from others. At school one day, I heard a kid in the hallway say, “Eww… I touched Izzy’s hand. I have to go wash my hands.” My heart broke. My heart broke for the child who said these unkind words, and it broke for the child who was listening to her words. This lack of acceptance is what unnerves me. This is the ugly. There is no behavior that Izzy could exhibit that is as ugly as this. I could tell other stories, but my focus here is not on the ugly; my focus is on Izzy and rising above the perception that is out there. One thing I love about Izzy is her acceptance of others. She will befriend anyone and everyone. I’ve seen her get a smile out of the grumbling, negative lady who is at speech therapy with us each week. Izzy talks to her every single week! At first, she could barely get her to look her way. Now, they have full-blown conversations! Izzy has true joy in her heart. It is my hope that Izzy’s kindness and joy will be contagious and others will learn from her instead of being disturbed by her.

So what do we do to combat the ugliness? Well, each of us has a responsibility to model the behavior we want from our children. I know that I am guilty of judging others. Just the other day, I spouted off something about someone who was annoying me. Izzy caught right on and asked question after question about the situation. Children are sponges. They soak up every little thing we say and do. I try to be much more cognizant of my actions and words, and, boy, is it a constant struggle! However, every little effort makes a difference! And I know that kids will be kids and say unkind things. They are learning how to be social and understand others who are different. If we are lucky enough to overhear these rude comments, we're provided with a teachable moment. Not too long ago, we were in Buc-ee's (best. gas station. EVER.) and Izzy saw a little person. She laughed and pointed. This really surprised me; Izzy has a friend at school who is a little person, and I never would have expected her to do this. I grabbed her arm and took her to the nearest aisle and said, "You are different, too." It is so, so important that we seize the moment and teach children empathy, kindness, and respect.

Now, I know the story you really want to hear is what I said to those two little girls. However, I'll take that teachable moment to the grave... yeah, whatever!

Stop! Evaluate and Listen!

We celebrate Izzy’s differences, yet we also recognize the need for support. Of course, Greg and I help Izzy as much as we can, but it is essential to have specialists to guide us. This is why we regularly see a speech therapist and psychiatrist. The support Izzy receives at school is essential for her continued progress. I am thankful for teachers and other parents who have shared their experiences and strategies with us. Because of that, we can try new things with Izzy and help her be successful.

Did you know that it’s your right as a parent to request an evaluation through your school district? If you suspect that your child has a learning disability, is emotionally disturbed, or is on the spectrum, the school district will conduct a free evaluation. This is provided under IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). Provide a letter in writing requesting a full evaluation to your school's principal. Additional paperwork may follow to get the ball rolling. My philosophy has always been that it’s best to do it, and if nothing else, rule it out. That’s what we've done with Izz. We've had her ears checked, her eyes checked, changed her diet, tried various therapies... and we're still trying to figure it all out. An evaluation is the first step to intervention. If you’re like me and you’re unsure about your child’s behaviors or academic progress, consider an evaluation... even if it’s nothing more than to just check it off of your list. The evaluation can provide you with answers or peace of mind, regardless of the outcome.

More Information About IDEA & Parent Rights to an Evaluation