Another baby? Not even maybe.

I swear if one more person asks me when I'm having another kid, I'm going to scream. Why is it when you pop out a kid, everyone expects you to pop out another one?

Not too long ago, we were visting some friends, and I was asked if I had changed my mind about having another kid.

I said, "Well, there are so many other things I want to do before I even think about having another kid, you know, like getting a job and buying a house."

And she actually said this: "Oh, so maybe in another year?"

What? Are you kidding me? So, I get a job and buy a house. Then I get knocked up and have to be at home with another baby. Now I can't afford day care for two kids, so I no longer can have the job that I just got, and then we probably won't be able to afford the house we want and all of the things we want to do.

"No," was my response. "More like five years. In five years, I'll think about it, assess our situation and decide."

And then I got that crazy look... I could tell that she was thinking that I'm absolutely insane.

Why is it that I am the only person on the face of the earth that thinks this way? Doesn't it make sense to do things in a certain order. I think that I am being a very responsible parent thinking like this. I want to be able to give my kid everything she needs. Right now, we need for me to go back to work and for us to get a house. Does another kid fit in the equation? Nope. We just finished paying all of our hospital bills from Izzy... why would I want to start racking them up again? I can think of many, many things I'd much rather be spending my money on.

So I've compiled a list of reasons why I don't want to have another kid. Maybe I'll print this out and just hand it to people when I get asked that awful question!

Reasons Why I Don't Want To Have Another Child

1. I like to sleep... Izzy's really good at sleeping now, too. Of course, she has those nights occasionally where she doesn't do too good. That's enough to remind me not to have another one!

2. I like to spend money... on me! Not on diapers, formula and hospital bills. Kids are expensive. I would much rather spend $20 a month on birth control pills than spend that money on another kid. Is that selfish? Maybe. But I don't need to have another kid if I'm that selfish, huh?

3. Just got my body back to where I want it to be... why would I want to ruin it again. I gained about 35 pounds with Izzy, and while it was easy to lose the weight, toning up has been a different story. Working out is hard! I don't want to have to start over from scratch again.

4. Daycare for one kid: reasonable. Daycare for two kids: outrageous. Waiting a measly five years to have another kid will save me about $1,000 a month in day care. Think I'm crazy now?

5. I don't want to miss anything that's new and exciting for Izzy because I'm taking care of a newborn. Izzy deserves lots of time and attention... it wouldn't be fair to her or another baby.

6. I want to go back to work and make money. I wasn't meant to be a stay at home mom. I need social interaction; I need to feel like I'm making a difference. SAHM's would argue that they are making a difference in their children's lives, and while I agree with that, I believe that I can make a difference in my child's life by being a good role model and setting an example for her that a woman can have a successful career. At the same time I am giving her a gift by allowing her to socialize with other children her age... also very important.

7. I want to buy a house... Greg and I have been throwing money away on rent for way too long. It makes me sick to think of the tens of thousands of dollars that have been flushed down the toilet. I'd like to focus on that right now... not that you can't buy a house and have a baby at the same time, but that just doesn't sound like a good combination to me.

8. Childbirth... need I say more?

The list could go on and on, but I've pretty much covered the important reasons. I just wish that it wasn't expected for me to have another kid. It's just like when you get out of college, everyone expects you to get married. Why? Why has society thrust all of these expectations upon us? Shouldn't it be up to every individual to decide when he or she is ready for the next step in their life? And if the next step isn't a beautiful bouncing baby, that should be ok. Why I constantly get looked at like I am the crazy one for not having another baby right now is beyond me. Success in my life will not be measured by how many children I have, but rather by how successful my child is. So all of you out there giving me crazy eyes, stop. There's no need. I am not the crazy one. Ok, maybe I'm a little crazy! Yeah, whatever!

Greg vs. Wild

It all started in December when we took Izzy to see Santa Claus. He was a great Santa, complete with a southern drawl and a real beard. Greg was fascinated by his snow white facial hair, and while Izzy had her picture made, he chatted up Mr. Claus about beard growing.

So back in March when we left to go to Ruidoso, Greg decided it would be the perfect time to grow out a beard since he'd be off work for a week. At the end of that week he had some pretty nice scruff going on, thought it was appropriate enough for work, and he's still growing it out.

I have to say that I like bearded Greg, but I'm not sure about the things that have come along with the beard, like the constant grooming. I can't tell you how many times he combs his beard every day. He meticulously trims it... who'd have thought that you have to constantly trim a growing beard? Greg now twists the tiny hairs of his mustache between his fingers each and EVERY time he contemplates the answer to a question.

I don't know what it is about having a beard, but Greg sure is acting more manly these days. By manly, I mean lots more farting, burping, scratching... get the picture?

Last night, after Greg let out a minute long stinky, I just went off! He laughed and laughed at my theory about the beard bringing out the (disgusting) man in him. But it's true! He's gone all Man vs. Wild on me, except he's not out in the wild... he's in our apartment! I've noticed a lot more pocket knives around the house lately, and he's really into beef jerky these days. And not just beef jerky, he's trying all kinds of jerky... his new fave is elk jerky.

I keep thinking the summer heat will get to him, and he'll get rid of the beard... but I think he's enjoying his new found manhood a little too much to do that. But then again, last night he DVR-ed the movie "At First Sight" for me... he said it's such a great movie, and he really wants me to see it! Maybe the beard's not getting the best of him! Yeah, whatever!

Baggage Claimed!

"I carry my baggage in my hair... so I chopped it off."

That's what my friend Mel said when she told me that she got the super cute new Addison-from-"Private Practice" haircut.

Hmm... that made me think, where do I carry my baggage?

Well, I started seriously thinking about that... and for the past year or so, I haven't taken very good care of myself. I let myself go just a bit. I kinda thought that's what you do when you become a mother. You put everyone else before yourself. You don't get dressed up anymore, and what's the point of doing your makeup and hair?

It was almost as if I was feeling sorry for myself for being a mom... I was starting to become a mommy-martyr. You know, that mom that has such a rough life staying at home with her kids, and she usually runs herself too thin, not taking time for herself and feeling sorry for herself all at the same time! Poor, poor pitiful me... I've got to stay at home, sweep the floors and wear mom-jeans.

Whoa! I don't think so! I definitely don't want to be lumped into that category!

But there I was, carrying my mommy-martyr baggage in the form of extra pounds, cellulite and an awful Casper-the-Friendly ghost complexion... things that are so not me. Why would I let my life's circumstances define me? I have always been the type of person to take control of a situation and make the best of it...

So I did just that. I decided to start working out, eating better and make sure that I get plenty of "me" time. I've been visiting the gym regularly, and I'm on the road to losing that baggage... both physically and emotionally. It's nice to just get away for just a little bit every day. Just me, my iPod and the treadmill.

I thought it was going to be hard to get motivated to work out, but lately, I've been looking forward to that hour in the gym... and not just because I have time to myself and a killer body to look forward to. Every time I go to the gym there's somone in there that makes me laugh.

Last night there was an older man working out, wearing a yellow polo and blue soccer shorts. After walking on the treadmill for approximately five minutes at a very slow pace, he proceeded to the weight machines where he lifted less weight than even I would! In between machines he walked around with his shoulders back and his chest all puffed out... he thought he was a stud!

And there's another younger Asian guy that's always in the gym on the elliptical going as s l o w as he possibly can! I don't know if he doesn't know how to work the machine or what?!

I'll never forget the time I was running on the treadmill and there was a guy lifting weights and in between sets he'd go over to the window, look at his reflection and do punches! It never failed... every time he'd finish, he'd head to that same window and punch!

Now that I've changed the mommy-martyr perspective on my life, it's almost time for my stay-at-home status to change. I have to admit, I'm going to miss it. I've got a pretty sweet gig hanging out every day with Izzy. We eat grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, play with toys, read books and go shopping together. It's almost like being a kid again. Izzy's really brought back a child-like spark to my life. There's nothing like spending time with that little girl and making her smile... except maybe watching that crazy guy punch an imaginary person in the gym! Yeah, whatever!

Sham-Wow... more like Sham-POW!

It is a sad day for me... I just learned that the Sham-Wow guy (Vince Shlomi) was arrested last month for felony battery assault charges... on a prostitute! Almost as disturbing (to me, at least), Shlomi listed his occupation as "marketing" on the police report with no mention of the Sham-Wow! Maybe he didn't want to de-fame the infamous super-towel... but I think if I were the Sham-Wow guy, and I had to fill out a form listing my job, I'd write in big bold letters... SHAM-WOW GUY. But then again, he must not be too proud of the Sham-Wow... look at what he's done.

I'm not so crazy about the Sham-Wow anymore... and I'm really glad I haven't bought one yet. Well, maybe I would still buy one if Sham-Wow would get new representation. You know, I think I would make a great Sham-Wow girl!

Here are the links to the articles about the arrest (there are pictures also):

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0330091newsham1.html

Thanks for the heads up, Manda... otherwise, I'd still be singing Mr. Shlomi's praises... yeah, whatever!