Lora's United States of Whatever

I swear if one more person asks me when I'm having another kid, I'm going to scream. Why is it when you pop out a kid, everyone expects you to pop out another one? Not too long ago, we were visting some friends, and I was asked if I had changed my mind about having another kid. I said, "Well, there are so many other things I want to do before I even think about having another kid, you know, like getting a job and buying a house." And she actually said this: "Oh, so maybe in another year?" What? Are you kidding me? So, I get a job and buy a house. Then I get knocked up and have to be at home with another baby. Now I can't afford day care for two kids, so I no longer can have the job that I just got, and then we probably won't be able to afford the house we want and all of the things we want to do. "No," was my response. "More like five years. In five years, I'll think about it, assess our situation and decide." And then I got t...

It all started in December when we took Izzy to see Santa Claus. He was a great Santa, complete with a southern drawl and a real beard. Greg was fascinated by his snow white facial hair, and while Izzy had her picture made, he chatted up Mr. Claus about beard growing. So back in March when we left to go to Ruidoso, Greg decided it would be the perfect time to grow out a beard since he'd be off work for a week. At the end of that week he had some pretty nice scruff going on, thought it was appropriate enough for work, and he's still growing it out. I have to say that I like bearded Greg, but I'm not sure about the things that have come along with the beard, like the constant grooming. I can't tell you how many times he combs his beard every day. He meticulously trims it... who'd have thought that you have to constantly trim a growing beard? Greg now twists the tiny hairs of his mustache between his fingers each and EVERY time he contemplates the answer to a question...

"I carry my baggage in my hair... so I chopped it off." That's what my friend Mel said when she told me that she got the super cute new Addison-from-"Private Practice" haircut. Hmm... that made me think, where do I carry my baggage? Well, I started seriously thinking about that... and for the past year or so, I haven't taken very good care of myself. I let myself go just a bit. I kinda thought that's what you do when you become a mother. You put everyone else before yourself. You don't get dressed up anymore, and what's the point of doing your makeup and hair? It was almost as if I was feeling sorry for myself for being a mom... I was starting to become a mommy-martyr. You know, that mom that has such a rough life staying at home with her kids, and she usually runs herself too thin, not taking time for herself and feeling sorry for herself all at the same time! Poor, poor pitiful me... I've got to stay at home, sweep the floors and wear mom-j...

It is a sad day for me... I just learned that the Sham-Wow guy (Vince Shlomi) was arrested last month for felony battery assault charges... on a prostitute! Almost as disturbing (to me, at least), Shlomi listed his occupation as "marketing" on the police report with no mention of the Sham-Wow! Maybe he didn't want to de-fame the infamous super-towel... but I think if I were the Sham-Wow guy, and I had to fill out a form listing my job, I'd write in big bold letters... SHAM-WOW GUY. But then again, he must not be too proud of the Sham-Wow... look at what he's done. I'm not so crazy about the Sham-Wow anymore... and I'm really glad I haven't bought one yet. Well, maybe I would still buy one if Sham-Wow would get new representation. You know, I think I would make a great Sham-Wow girl! Here are the links to the articles about the arrest (there are pictures also): http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html http://www.thesmokinggun.co...