Just the other day I was talking to my newly pregnant friend, Danielle, and offering words of wisdom to help her through her pregnancy.
The best piece of advice that I passed on to Dani was that she should do what's best and what works for her and her baby. Seems like common sense, right? Wrong. With all of the books and websites out there, a set of standards has been created for new mommies and their newborns. And it spans from breastfeeding to sleeping to schedules... and it's never ending!
The first few days after Izzy was born she cried and cried and cried. I continually put her in her bassinet to sleep at night, and she would just cry! Finally I put her in bed with me (going against everything that I'd read pre-Izzy), and she slept! For the first three months of her life she slept, and I slept. I had to do what was best for me and for her. And when she was ready, she slept in her crib, and I slept in my bed... contrary to what those books said!
There have been many situations where I've not gone 'by the book' with Izzy. It's funny how when you become pregnant or finally give birth to that precious baby people feel the need to give you advice... moreso, they tell you what you should and shouldn't do. I'm trying my hardest to give Dani all of the practical advice I can... so she can decide what is best for her little family.
All of this reminiscing is making it clear to me that this applies in other areas of my life as well. I have always been somewhat of a people pleaser, so it really is hard for me to not live up to expectations set by others. As each day passes, I find that it's more and more true to do what I think is best rather than something that a book or a person tells me to do.
While I love and appreciate books and websites, especially those on children, I know that every person is different. What may work for one individual may not work for another.
I say this as we move into Izzy's temper tantrum-throwing stage! I still haven't figured out how to deal with these tantrums, but through trial and error I will. While receiving dirty look after dirty look, I try method after method. And the consensus seems to be that I should ignore Izzy while she's pitching her little fits.
Hmm... ignore my kid, huh?! Sounds a little backwards, but the backwards ideas are usually the ones that work for this rambunctious little girl. And keeping things simple, doing what works best regardless of those books, websites and dirty looks.
Izzy's going to stop throwing tantrums soon, right? Yeah, whatever!
3 comments:
Isnt it funny how people miraculously know what is wrong with your baby everytime your baby cries and how you need to live your life once you become pregnant and have a baby! I too have boycotted the baby books and decided to do what works best for us! This my friend is a post I can appreciate as a new mom and one that I will pass along! Cheers!
Sis, it sounds like you are doing everything right! I'm sure I have offered unsolicited advice numerous times..but when you have 3 kids, it's hard not too, especially when you have 3 completely different kids. Here lately, when Addison throws tantrums, instead of ignoring her, we get on to her and make her get in bed. It sometimes takes 30 minutes to an hour for her to calm down and think about it, but then she stops. We had to do this twice for her, and she hasn't thrown a fit in over a week. She hates to sit in her bed by herself in the middle of the day, so she knows if she throws a fit, that is where she will go. It was way more effective for her than a spanking. But, like you said, you have to do what is right for you guys. It won't take long to figure out what works..I mean, it only took us 4 1/2 years!
YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I wish everyone would take that approach to parenting. We're all just trying to do the best we can! No judgment!
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