Mom Jeans, Luby's & Wheel of Fortune

Recently, I discovered something about myself... I am terrified of old people. Gerontophobia is what it's called. "The fear of old people or growing old." I've never noticed this about myself, but lately, others have been making it very clear to me that I have a problem! I guess I made one too many "old" people comments in front of my mother-in-law... and, you know, I didn't think I was saying anything to offend her, since I don't see her as old. But now that she's admitted to doing too many elderly things... she's out of my "young" category!

Greg loves to shop at Eddie Bauer... I think it's too "old" for him. I told him that he should wait until he turns 30 to shop there. You know what I'm talking about... there are certain stores that are for old people. Take Coldwater Creek for example... I was forced into this store by my mother-in-law... the assortment of old lady cardigans and shawls put me into immediate shock. "Is this store kinda like Eddie Bauer?" I asked her backing up and out of the store, ever so slowly.

Why do they have to make stores that cater to little old women? And how do we go from dressing young and trendy to only buying "mom" jeans? I just can't handle pants pulled up as high as they can possibly go. I don't understand it! Do you just wake up one day and decide you would really love to have a great pair of jeans that can be pulled up to your armpits?! My mother-in-law, again, tried to explain that this type of jeans can help cover the pooch that you get as you grow older. (Yes, she admitted to wearing "mom" jeans!)

Don't even get me started about Luby's. I hate the fact that I love their food, but it's full of old people. What is it about a cafeteria that attracts the geriatric generation? Even the name of the restaurant screams old! Seriously! Have you ever met anyone named Luby that's under the age of 70?! Didn't think so!

And then there's Wheel of Fortune. I don't like to admit I watch this show because I feel like I'm 90 years old when I do. It's such a grandparent thing to do. I know my grandparents never missed an episode. Greg even signed up for a Spin ID... so there Greg sits every night, watching and waiting for Pat Sajack to call his number. How old man is that? Picture Greg, in his recliner, reaching for the remote and turning the TV up as loud as he can to make sure that he doesn't hear the number incorrectly; does that scream senior citizen or what?!

Just the other day, I was driving through Meyerland Plaza, a shopping center in Houston, and I came to a four way stop. I stop, and then this extremely old man stops; therefore, it's my turn to go. As I pull into the intersection he starts to move forward! I slammed on my breaks and tried to honk my horn. (Why is it you can never find your horn to honk it in these situations?!) So now he was in front of me... going as slow as he could possibly drive. At first I felt sorry for the little old man... he must not have been able to see where he was going. I parked the car, and as I got Izzy out of her carseat and headed into Target, I saw that same little old man in his little old man car speeding through the parking lot. It was as if he was laughing at me, saying, "ha! ha! I gotcha!"

I have a feeling that old people are out to get me. I promise you this: I will never, ever become old. I know that physically, I will grow older, but I vow to not fall into this old person mentality. I think that I can keep my wardrobe nice and classy without adding those dreadful mom jeans, and I promise that I will get off of the roads when I am no longer fit to drive on them! As for Luby's, I can't promise you that I'll stay away from there... their macaroni & cheese is to die for! Does Luby's have "to go"? Ha! Ha! Yeah, whatever!


(Thanks, Allyson for this video... it goes perfectly with this topic, doesn't it?!)